Closure
This is not a post I am looking forward to writing, but needed for my own closure.
My uncle, Rob, passed in April. I did not know him at all, (I might have met him when I was younger but have no memory of him) but I was sad for my mother's loss. She was just reconnecting with him and building a relationship. His death was sudden and unexpected.
My Aunt Lisa write this of my uncle:
"Well, my brother's trip is complete. After his death in April, I arranged for George's ashes to be sent from Idaho to me here in Oklahoma. My plans were to arrange to take him home to Phoenix myself until my sister Leslie told about The Patriot Guard Riders. Greg O'Neil, the state captain of the Arizona PGR graciously offered to transport George's ashes to the National Memorial Cemetery in Phoenix. On July 7th, Rob was inurned in a columbarium with full military honors. Because his family could not attend, the PGR did so in our stead. This would not have been possible without their dedication to US military members (and others)."
Last week, Tuesday at about 8am, I was woken by a call from my sister letting me know my aunt has passed. My aunt Tina, exactly 10 years older than me, was in the hospital suffering from health complications, almost a year earlier, on our birthday. Unfortunately, bad health and poor life choices claimed her life too soon as she passed from congenital heart failure. She was 40.
The next day, Isaac, who was supposed to be sleeping in because he was working nights, took a phone call around 8am. His oldest brother, Jeremiah, who had been battling brain cancer for the past 15 months, lost his battle that morning. He was 37.
I was unable to attend my aunt's service (flights were outrageously priced and even if we drove, we would not have made it to her services on time). And I was unable to sit through my brother-in-law's services (I chased around my 14 month old pretty much the whole time), but I did get to hear bits and pieces and hear my husband speak. So, I turn to my blog to express my memories and thoughts.
Tina:
I can't say my aunt and I were super close, and I did expect her passing at some point giving her stay in the hospital the year prior, but that doesn't make my grief any less.
I remember:
We shared many birthdays together. Often, it was Tina's birthday cake with my name scribbled on the side somewhere (my parents were separated, and my dad didn't always communicate ahead that I would be crashing her party). When she babysat us kids, she taught us card games and we played well into the night. Rummy was my favorite. One father's day, she wanted to help us kids surprise my dad, so she had me memorize a song for me to sing to him. "The River" by GB. It was a very popular song that year, and listening to it now, brings huge alligator tears to my eyes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuO3FhA3PWc
Oh, and she also gave me my first drag from a cigaret. Lesson learned, never wanted to touch those things again (okay, so I might have tried again, but my opinion was the same, disgusting.) She once made a dinner so disgusting I refused to eat it. She knew it was bad and so did everyone else. So, when she left the room everyone dumped their food on my plate and she wouldn't let me leave the table till I finished all the food (she of course knew what was going on, but apparently everyone but me found it funny). I was a flower girl in her wedding, wearing this light satin purple dress to match the bridesmaids. ....I choose to remember the good things about her.
Tina leaves behind two sons (age 19 and 12? I've never been good keeping up with ages) and a granddaughter.
Jeremiah:
My husband, Isaac's, oldest brother (Isaac is the youngest of four). I've seen Jeremiah more than my aunt these past few years since I've been married to Isaac. Isaac found out last May, at his grandmother's funeral, that his brother has a tumor. Later, they found out it was stage 4 cancer. Seeing his grandmother suffer in and out the effects of traditional cancer treatment, Jeremiah decided not to go that route. When I found that out, my heart broke and I was scared. At the time, I didn't know what that meant. Was he just giving up? No. Knowing his time might be limited, he did not want to waist what precious time he did have dealing with the sickness of treatments, so he sought holistic treatments, which I believe prolonged his time here on earth. Time to spend with his wife and four children (ages 14, 12, 7 and 5).
I remember:
We never really had any one on one deep conversations. But I do remember him coming into my work, at the cell phone store, because he was having troubles with his phone. The issue? Not enough storage. The man LOVED to take endless amounts of pictures and refused to delete a single one (I can relate). Summer and fall nights at my father-in-law Gerald's house, where we always had the fire-pit going, Jeremiah would bring his own meat that had been marinating in a concoction of seasonings. He loved trying new food ideas. He was always so peaceful and soft spoken. Very careful about every word he spoke. Isaac would tell me countless memories of Jeremiah, all good and interesting. I loved hearing stories about his oldest brother, they were like a treat. Jeremiah talked to me about his time in Arizona where he served in the US Army (as I am from Arizona). I loved how creative he was, so artistic too! This world certainly is a darker place without him.
This past week has been hard on me. As most people know, I am a very emotional person and there have been many times where I just want to break down and cry, and a few times I have, but life goes on. Time heals. We are surrounded by an amazing family, great friends, and luckily for my husband, a very supportive work team that gave him emergency leave and a beautiful bouquet of flowers. There has been too much death these past few years. Does this just come with age? Or is it because there are so many loved ones in my life?
My uncle, Rob, passed in April. I did not know him at all, (I might have met him when I was younger but have no memory of him) but I was sad for my mother's loss. She was just reconnecting with him and building a relationship. His death was sudden and unexpected.
My Aunt Lisa write this of my uncle:
"Well, my brother's trip is complete. After his death in April, I arranged for George's ashes to be sent from Idaho to me here in Oklahoma. My plans were to arrange to take him home to Phoenix myself until my sister Leslie told about The Patriot Guard Riders. Greg O'Neil, the state captain of the Arizona PGR graciously offered to transport George's ashes to the National Memorial Cemetery in Phoenix. On July 7th, Rob was inurned in a columbarium with full military honors. Because his family could not attend, the PGR did so in our stead. This would not have been possible without their dedication to US military members (and others)."
The next day, Isaac, who was supposed to be sleeping in because he was working nights, took a phone call around 8am. His oldest brother, Jeremiah, who had been battling brain cancer for the past 15 months, lost his battle that morning. He was 37.
I was unable to attend my aunt's service (flights were outrageously priced and even if we drove, we would not have made it to her services on time). And I was unable to sit through my brother-in-law's services (I chased around my 14 month old pretty much the whole time), but I did get to hear bits and pieces and hear my husband speak. So, I turn to my blog to express my memories and thoughts.
Tina:
I can't say my aunt and I were super close, and I did expect her passing at some point giving her stay in the hospital the year prior, but that doesn't make my grief any less.
I remember:
We shared many birthdays together. Often, it was Tina's birthday cake with my name scribbled on the side somewhere (my parents were separated, and my dad didn't always communicate ahead that I would be crashing her party). When she babysat us kids, she taught us card games and we played well into the night. Rummy was my favorite. One father's day, she wanted to help us kids surprise my dad, so she had me memorize a song for me to sing to him. "The River" by GB. It was a very popular song that year, and listening to it now, brings huge alligator tears to my eyes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuO3FhA3PWc
Oh, and she also gave me my first drag from a cigaret. Lesson learned, never wanted to touch those things again (okay, so I might have tried again, but my opinion was the same, disgusting.) She once made a dinner so disgusting I refused to eat it. She knew it was bad and so did everyone else. So, when she left the room everyone dumped their food on my plate and she wouldn't let me leave the table till I finished all the food (she of course knew what was going on, but apparently everyone but me found it funny). I was a flower girl in her wedding, wearing this light satin purple dress to match the bridesmaids. ....I choose to remember the good things about her.
Tina leaves behind two sons (age 19 and 12? I've never been good keeping up with ages) and a granddaughter.
Jeremiah:
My husband, Isaac's, oldest brother (Isaac is the youngest of four). I've seen Jeremiah more than my aunt these past few years since I've been married to Isaac. Isaac found out last May, at his grandmother's funeral, that his brother has a tumor. Later, they found out it was stage 4 cancer. Seeing his grandmother suffer in and out the effects of traditional cancer treatment, Jeremiah decided not to go that route. When I found that out, my heart broke and I was scared. At the time, I didn't know what that meant. Was he just giving up? No. Knowing his time might be limited, he did not want to waist what precious time he did have dealing with the sickness of treatments, so he sought holistic treatments, which I believe prolonged his time here on earth. Time to spend with his wife and four children (ages 14, 12, 7 and 5).
I remember:
We never really had any one on one deep conversations. But I do remember him coming into my work, at the cell phone store, because he was having troubles with his phone. The issue? Not enough storage. The man LOVED to take endless amounts of pictures and refused to delete a single one (I can relate). Summer and fall nights at my father-in-law Gerald's house, where we always had the fire-pit going, Jeremiah would bring his own meat that had been marinating in a concoction of seasonings. He loved trying new food ideas. He was always so peaceful and soft spoken. Very careful about every word he spoke. Isaac would tell me countless memories of Jeremiah, all good and interesting. I loved hearing stories about his oldest brother, they were like a treat. Jeremiah talked to me about his time in Arizona where he served in the US Army (as I am from Arizona). I loved how creative he was, so artistic too! This world certainly is a darker place without him.
This past week has been hard on me. As most people know, I am a very emotional person and there have been many times where I just want to break down and cry, and a few times I have, but life goes on. Time heals. We are surrounded by an amazing family, great friends, and luckily for my husband, a very supportive work team that gave him emergency leave and a beautiful bouquet of flowers. There has been too much death these past few years. Does this just come with age? Or is it because there are so many loved ones in my life?
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in a river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in a river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
